Surrounded Alone

Without goodbye
You walked out of our sight
Faded away
From all of our lives

A final act
Of bitter revenge
To keep us dark
While you battled within

Tormented sadness
Fills my soul
With your last memory
Surrounded and alone

Amazing

I feel a strong need to say something tonight for so many reasons.
You are amazing no matter where you are in your life right now. You are beautiful and always just a little stronger than you think you are. You are just a little stronger than you ever need to be and you’ve got this. You cannot be broken because you are the mountain rooted in the earth and rock. The wind will bend and the tide will sway. You won’t falter. Time is a friend and worry will fade away.

You are amazing.

Silence and Strength

The more I learn in life, the more I understand how little I know.  That may sound cliché but it is true. It seems that the moment I feel like I have things together and figured out lately, another curve ball gets hurled in my direction.

I have been underestimated recently and treated quite poorly.  While I may not call the individual out directly for being dishonest, that does not mean that I am not aware.  It does not mean that I am a doormat to be walked on and it does not mean that my silence should be taken as acceptance.  My calm nature and my smile does not mean that I am ignorantly going about my day.  It means that I am waiting.  It means that I am acting with great care and caution and that I am considering my options with a tremendous amount of thought.  It means that I am the calm before your storm and that I will take the path you least expect.  It means that I will protect myself with a kind smile and quite nature until I need to act.  When I act, it will be with precision and it will be with everything I have.  I work hard and I care a great deal about what I do both in my career and personal life.  My strength now comes from knowing that I am on the right path and that I can only continue to put my best effort forward.  Controlling other people is simply not possible (or advised for the obvious reasons).   These words may sound vindictive but they are not meant in that way. I do not seek out challenges like this, but I am in a situation where I need to defend myself and I absolutely will. I sleep at night knowing that I am a good person.

This post is vague intentionally but I certainly needed to vent.  These words will give me strength as I face the obstacles ahead of me this week. I will not let my emotions take over.  I will simply smile and do my best in everything I encounter.  This is not worth any more of my heartache or tears, it is simply a crappy situation to be in that will eventually be resolved in one manner or another.  I will heed these words that my awesome mother sent me recently.

Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” – Benjamin Franklin

Thank you  Mom for being you 🙂

Thank you to my husband this week for being my rock.

Just Go 

  
A meme after my own heart 😜   I may not be fast but I certainly don’t quit 🙌

Running and writing can be calming in each of their own ways.  I need more of both.  I can’t wait to run my first 5K no matter what the time may be!

Seeking Balance

I am flawed and sometimes impulsive.  If you know me, you will know where you stand with me by the way I hold my eyes.  I can hold my own in difficult situations though it can be draining and I will sometimes need time to recharge and recover. I don’t run towards conflict.  When needed, I let myself cry.  Often when I do, I have learned to write.  I don’t always share what I write but most of the time my writing will take shape and eventually lend some clarity to me.

I can be overly critical of myself.  I second guess things I say and I worry about other people’s perception of me at times.  I hold back more than I should and sometimes I have let fear stop me from sharing my feelings. The words have become suddenly stuck a time or two.  I’m certain that this would surprise a few people who know me well. This was not always the case with me and has happened over time.  I am not speaking about one specific kind of relationship, but more to all in general.  I’m making an effort now to work on that part of myself and to put myself out there like I once did.

Life is beautiful and love is more powerful than fear.

One Moments Truth

For all those years
She held so much back
Waiting for something
Like lifes perfect track

16 trips around the sun
She has no answer yet
For all her words have failed her
Missed minutes now regret

One moment’s truth brought her back
To where it all did start
She relived every second
While love consumed her heart

No matter where she goes from here
She’s been forever changed
By the sweetness of that moment
And the words that were exchanged