The Things I Never Said

 

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I saw this and it spoke to me.  It shouldn’t have, though it did and quite loudly. The solitary image and the few simple words here are incredibly powerful. I have debated posting this because I simply do not want this blog to speak to this part of my past.  My writing tends to lend clarity to me though and I decided to share this.

This image is not a reflection of where I am now, but where I once was. Emotional abuse can leave scars that last an incredibly long time.  I “stepped away from” or divorced the man who verbally abused me me 4 years ago and I find myself still recovering  now.  I doubt myself in ways I never used to, but I am aware and working on getting  better at that still. Waking up and realizing that you are no longer welcome in your own home is a terrifying feeling.  The truth is that when asked about this part of my life, I have provided mainly socially acceptable anecdotes and referenced the cheating instead. Perhaps I found it easier to refer to this rather than to call it what it was. It seemed to feel more socially acceptable to provide only a portion of my story.

I am aware of how incredibly lucky I am to have the support and strength I needed to leave. I am grateful to my incredible husband for showing me what love really looks like.  I am grateful for my family and friends who have been my source of strength at my worst moments.   As I sign off for tonight I will be listening to God Bless the Broken Road and I will let it heal me like it always does.

 

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